50 Reasons Why ‘Pacific Rim’ Sucked

50 Reasons Why ‘Pacific Rim’ Sucked

• Opened July 12, 2013 
• 2 hr 11 min
• PG-13 | sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence throughout, and brief language

• Parents: Common Sense Media says OK for kids 12+. More on child suitability

• When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity’s resources for years on end. To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju. On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes—a washed up former pilot (Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (Rinko Kikuchi)—who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse. Full synopsis

• Cast: Charlie Hunnam, Diego Klattenhoff, Idris Elba, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day
• Director: Guillermo del Toro
• Genres: Sci-Fi/Fantasy

1. Everybody knows what Jaeger means. That’s why they chose it.

2. Everybody acted like they popped up so suddenly- as if seismic radars didn’t notice them at all.

3. Jaeger program, because we’re so unoriginal.

4.‘Gipsy Danger’ G-Y-P-S-Y.

5. So pretty much Daft Punk runs these.

6. Fucking take forever to go into battle.

7. No one has ever tried to hack their programming?

8. Why can’t it just walk out of the building?

9. Yeah, don’t mind all the fish. The Jaegers aren’t so eco-friendly looking.

10. That boat would have totally toppled over being set down.

11. Jesus, cannon, c’mon now!

12. “Marshall, what do we do?” Not very good at commanding…

13. Oh, 17 minutes in. I’m watching ‘Pacific Rim’.

14. This little itty bitty wall? What idiot decided that was a good idea?

15. Wow, that chopper is landing really, really close to that building.

16. I just knew there had to be a woman in this. And of course, they’re going to get all squishy for each other.

17. 2nd floor buffer I’ve seen. That’s their priority in the Shatterdome.

18. How did he get into another movie? He’s not funny & his voice is obnoxious.

19. (She’s one of a kind) “she always was”- poor, poor acting.

20. Over dramatic music, sounds like a cheap B movie.

21. Candidate test- let’s waste more time.

22. I’m bored of knowing her problem & him not & making a big deal.

23. Not now! Researcher runs in, well, wobbles- you should probably listen! Why the fuck else do you have them there if you aren’t going to listen?

24. Colonist aliens???? HOW MANY OTHER MOVIES ARE OUT THERE WITH THIS IDEA?!Independence Day, Slither, etc.

25. You are out of the program & now have a desk job. Way to go.

26. RON PERLMAN? SERIOUSLY? God, I’m an idiot, why would it be anyone else?

27. Why’s he all Steampunk-like?

28. Ugh, the fight between Aussie & dude. Just do something, this is so boring.

29. Marshall’s office is odd & just a waste of space.

30. Marshall doesn’t age.

31. They’re pretty light for helicopters to be holding them.

32. Don’t stand there and smash your hands together, Russians! Just fight already!

33. I think these Jaegers are walking wayyy too fast for how much they weigh.

34. Same goes for the punches thrown and what not.

35. What was the point of the flare guns, dude?

36. “C’mon, let’s do it together” Well, you kind of have to do it together, right?

37. Shipping containers? You don’t have anymore elbow rockets? I bet the cost of cleaning up after Jaeger fights is more than the point of even having them.

38. That ship would shatter first hit. It’s a SHIP, not a goddamn sword!

39. Newton’s Balls, completely pointless. Quit with the visuals & finish the movie!

40. 2 flaps of the wings and we’re in outer space.

41. Why didn’t we deploy the sword, like, a long time ago?

42. “Mako, you ok?” What, you can’t read her mind or whatever right now?

43. “Everyone listen up!” You think it’d be really loud in there right now since they’re prepping massive machines. STOP ALL MACHINES to listen to the Marshall.

44. They sure do get their arms lobbed off easily.

45. Would the fish fall like that underwater? In the Ocean? Would they float to the top?

46. How is she going to get out of the portal? She doesn’t have a carcass to go back up?

47. Delivering the bomb to the mothership on Independence Day- ugh, HELLO?! Pacific Rim?

48. Why is nobody working in the Boiler Room thing?

49. This really POINTLESS dog!

50. That many choppers for 2 pods to pick up?

FAIL.