Monthly Archives: August 2010
50 Reasons Why ‘The Human Centipede’ Sucked
- The Human Centipede
- Opened April 30, 2010 | Runtime:1 hr. 30 min.
- During a stopover in Germany in the middle of a carefree road trip through Europe, two American girls find themselves alone at night when their car breaks down in the woods. Searching for help they find only an isolated villa, whose mysterious owner, Dr Heiter, takes them in for the night. The next day they awake to find themselves in the basement, trapped in a terrifying makeshift hospital with another one of the doctor’s abductees. Dr Heiter explains to the three of them that he is retired surgeon who had specialized in separating Siamese twins. However his three “patients” are not about to be separated, but joined together in a horrific operation. He plans to be the first to connect people, one to the next, via their gastric system, and in doing so bring to life his sick lifetime fantasy: ‘the human centipede’.
- Cast: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura, Andreas Leupold
- Director: Tom Six
- Genres: Sex HorrorHorrorSadistic Horror
I don’t really know what Twitter’s deal is but everyone on there seemed to freak over this movie. A lot of people said it was a must see, it was intense, it was incredibly shocking, it was BLAH BLAH BLAH. Really guys? It was just another movie. Nothing new, nothing crazy. And seriously, the instant the first person decides they need to shit, the second person’s gag reflex’s would totally made them puke. Then they’d both combust. And this doctor has to be a complete tard to think the third person would live at all because there is probably no nutrients left after the first and second people digest. Just stupid.
The link below is to Tosh.0 & his awesomeness reguarding his thoughts on ‘The Human Centipede’.
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:343580
50 Reasons Why ‘The Human Centipede’ Sucked
1. When was this made? The 80’s? They must have not been able to afford new cameras or film.
2. What the? Looks like a damn air gun.
3. First sequence? How could there be another after an ending like this film?
4. Too bad they don’t have MapQuest in Germany… Or on their cell phones.
5. The fuck is their present? Big twinkies?
6. ‘What was that?’ That my dear, was BAD ACTING.
7. You can, in fact, drive on a flat tire.
8. Everything in these woods are so nicely lit.
9. Wtf did they go off the road for? Randomly tracing through the woods, dumb plot. Girls can be stupid, but not THIS stupid.
10. I like how they have to keep saying their names to each other.
11. ‘Have a seat.’ Really on this nice couch and we’re all wet…
12. Pills dissolve that quick.
13. Ugh, I forgot to put the gaggers on those two.
14. Wouldn’t you want him OUT of the plastic bag? So he can decompose better?
15. His projector drawing of the 3 people…. aliens?
16. She looks at the Jap like, ‘wtf I’m not doing this with HIM.’
17. NOW you try to get loose? With him right there?
18. She’s just chillin in that room, sucking on his bed sheets- not looking for the phone that was right next to the door.
19. Hey, there’s a pool there btw. Nice booby trap.
20. All of her grunting and moaning, not very tactical trying to escape.
21. Your friend is under anesthetics are you kidding me, just leave her, get a phone, and get help.
22. Trying to move her friend… This is painful to watch.
23. Dragging her through all the glass. Mark: ‘I’d have to say I’d even be tuckered out at this point.’
24. That’s a lot of surgery in one day.
25. OMG bloody footprints on carpet as guys replace window.
26. How’d he get them upstairs?
27. And I sooooo wouldn’t have chosen the loud mouthy Jap as the main person to this human centipede. I could see that getting really obnoxious.
28. Point & shooting the SLR, not even aiming.
29. Last girl reaching over 2nd girl’s back for her hand. A lot easier to yeah, there you go, go underneath her body.
30. How’d he get them outside?
31. Jap bit him but that sooo doesn’t look like a bite.
32. I’d be too tired to cry, there is way too much crying going on.
33. Is there lip balm on the end of his cane?
34. Is he beating all three at the same time? Sounds like it.
35. Did he just hang up, there’s no hold button.
There is a video game, are you fucking serious.
36. You offer me ‘something’ to drink, I say coffee, but all you have is water and bitch about it. Then just offer WATER.
37. Cops?! You drug cops?! This guy is a fucking idiot.
38. Obviously it doesn’t work dude, if you have to replace parts of the centipede.
39. I woulda pulled that knife outta him and killed him with it.
40. Wait, how do they get out of the basement any other time?
And of course, little emo kids would wear this trying to make it some shit cult film.
41. Sets candlestick down? Really, a shard of glass? HIT HIM WITH THE CANDLESTICK. /movie.
42. If that Jap guy would have just waited 5 more seconds.
43. Cop didn’t see all that blood on the way down the stairs? No calling for backup?
44. Cop with tunnel vision.
45. He wouldn’t die that quickly, yeah 2 in the kidney and he would have bled out, but he still could have gotten the call in at least.
A goddamned CAT TOY?!
46. Bitch is left by herself, she needs to grab that shard of glass and start cutting her way out of the situation.
47. That’s how it ends? Really?
48. I’m just still wondering about how the cops got that warrant so quickly.
49. How It Should Have Ended: “Let’s just drive on this one flat tire until we get to a safer place and figure out what to do from there.”
50. Or How It Should Have Ended: Girls get car manual out, shows how to change a tire, girls follow directions, girls leave creepy woods.
FAIL.
Now this is just sad:
50 Reasons Why ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King’ Sucked
15/Aug/2010
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
- Opened December 17, 2003 | Runtime:3 hr. 21 min.
- PG-13
- Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Sam march toward Mount Doom to destroy the ring, while Gandalf (Ian McKellen) and warriors prepare for a final confrontation with Sauron and his allies.
- Cast: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom
- Director: Peter Jackson
- Genres: Sword-and-SorceryFantasy AdventureFantasyEpic
I just realized the names of everyone mostly involves two words, like Shadowfax, Gothmog, and Wormblood or whatever.
50 Reasons Why ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King’ Sucked
1. No one would ever let themselves be dragged that long by a fish. Or at all for that matter.
2. I’m so sick and tired of Sam calling him ‘Mr. Frodo’. People don’t go around calling me ‘Miss Hollie’.
3. I wonder how much Oxi Clean Gandalf goes through now that’s he’s supposed to be known as ‘Gandalf the White’ and not ‘Gandalf the Grey’.
4. That’s his special bowling ball, always hits strikes.
5. Too long of a conversation between Gollum and Smeagel.
6. If I were Sam, I would have stabbed Gollum by now, told Frodo to go fuck himself and then leave. With the bread.
7. Other hobbit took FOREVER yelling for help when tard hobbit got fucked with that ball.
8. Just spit it out and tell Gandalf what happened.
9. “Run Shadowfax, show us the meaning of haste.” Watching the haste.
10. They’re STILL fucking walking to the boats…
11. So she just stops and holds everyone else up in the line just because she sees a vision.
12. Everything with Liv is so dramatic. I hate living in slow motion.
13. You can’t just forge shit like that. There are definitely gonna be some weak spots…
14. Haste Pony is still all white. It must carry Tide-On-The-Go Sticks.
15. That tree looks pretty dead already.
16. What a waste of space this hall is, not efficient.
17. Frodo really needs to put like a dog tag silencer on that ring and keep that shit IN his shirt.
18. Just by walking near that Wizard of Oz castle green shit, he started the war.
19. We really need some Dethklok right now- ‘Awaken! Awaken!’
20. Why don’t we just go in, instead of walking up the stairs Gollum, they all just left.
21. ‘Quiet.’ We are quiet as shit, by you saying quiet fucks us. ‘Faster!’ Jesus, calm down.
22. Already a beach assault. Pretty mechanized army, dud they even have a landing craft for the beach.
23. I think they’re outnumbered, I don’t know about you.
24. What if it rained like, a day before, their kindling’s all dry. FUCK, fuck. Fuck.
25. Yeah, we get it. The fires are all lit.
26. Aragon’s like a little child- Yay! War! Can we go, huh? Please??
27. ‘Riders of Rohan, oaths you have taken, now fulfill them- we fight Riddick!’
28. ‘We can’t hold them, the city is lost.’ Dude, it looked like ruins to begin with.
29. ‘The age of men is over- the time for Orc has come.’ Gothmog- it’s the guy from The Goonies!
30. Frodo’s like Peter Parker, all the close-ups of just his face and no one else.
31. Throwin’ weeds at them, why don’t you keep them to cover our graves with…
32. I thought he was eating chicken and tomatoes, what’s with all this pomegranate shit dripping from his mouth?
33. Wait, WHY is Arwen’s fate tied to the ring?
34. You just HAD to say ‘the guys in the mountain’ when the breeze came by.
35. They will answer to the king of Gondor- epic flash of sword, epic music.
36. Aragon and blondie talking, the lightning is killing me.
37. Where’d Aragon get this random torch from?
38. Talking to dead green army while flinging his sword around. Totally sounds like a tuning fork.
39. Wtf is that thing, a massive pig on fire. I see they brought dinner.
40. Flip that bitch around, get more light/use out of it. You’re holding it very untactful.
41. Get the rubberbands off of Frodo, he looks like he jumped in a junk drawer.
42. He got that far on fire? That was pretty damn far, he’s got skill.
43. Uh oh. You just pissed off Shredder.
44. Omg, Legolas just Fred Flinstoned that elephant.
45. Dude, I woulda hung onto that green army for a bit longer. They blitzkrieged the fuck outta the place.
46. Aragon: ‘Blah blah blah keep his eye fixed on us.’
Legolas: ‘A diversion!’
Wow. Yes, you get a gold star.
47. Frodo, the eye’s light is gone, you can get up now. If this job were given to Sam, it would have been done by now.
48. Sam’s speech at the end of the film, as usual.
49. What happened to their horses?
50. Hobbits can actually see for once. Our vests look good. $15.99 now at Old Navy!
And a bit more…
51. If you’re at the tip of that spear, you have no idea why you’re bowing, it’s not like you can see shit way back there.
52. Frodo’s writing a book but really it’s just him drawing big circles on paper: ‘The Ring!’
53. He pulls out a drawer full of gold rings, ‘Still looking!’
54. I’m a bit unsure why Frodo needs to get on the boat to death along with Bilbo and Gandalf. He’s not old…
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers’ Sucked
15/Aug/2010
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
- Opened December 18, 2002 | Runtime:2 hr. 59 min.
- PG-13
scary images and epic battle sequences
- Now divided, members of a fellowship take different paths to destroy the ring and defeat evil Sauron and his pawns.
- Cast: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett
- Director: Peter Jackson
- Genres: Sword-and-SorceryFantasy AdventureFantasyEpic
50 Reasons Why ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers’ Sucked
1. A Recap of Gandalf. Really? Quit wasting my time trying to make this longer than it has to be.
2.‘Let’s face it Mr. Frodo, we’re lost.’ Dude, I can see it right in front of you.
3. ‘Nothing ever dampens your spirits, does it Sam?’ No, I’m fat.
4. ‘We’re not alone.’ Therefore, we should take a nap.
5. Omg the rope slipped right over Gollum’s head. He was all badass in attack but the second he has a rope around him, he’s a little bitch.
6. Aragon speaking in cryptic shit.
7. Saruman can’t even say his own name right. The way he says ‘Mordor’ is tardish too.
8. I know what you do with these two towers… Get a 747 and…
9. ‘Keep breathing, that’s the key.’ How about talking less = breathing more.
10. Legolas: ‘Red sunrises, blood has been spilled this night.’
11. ‘Have two horses from our fallen.’ That’s a pretty damn good kill ratio, but there’s 3 of them. You can’t give the dwarf a pony?
12. ‘A hobbit lay here, they crawled, their hands were bound…’ What, are you a ground whisperer?
13. You’re not a tree? A stump? Burl? Jesus of the trees?
14. Oh Christ, environmental crap.
15. “A shadow we must be.” Dude, you are not Yoda.
16. I need subtitles with Gollum.
17. The fucking situations Frodo puts himself in, so irritating.
18. Dude, turn down your lights White Wizard. It’s called the ‘Dimmer Switch’.
19. Lord of horses? What do you do as the Lord of the horses?
20. Black Gate of Mordor. Oh shit, I forgot my digital camera.
21. Yeah fucking right. Those 2 guards were RIGHT ON TOP of Sam and Frodo.
22. Gollum not fully disclosing info about Mordor. He’s like a timeshare, you don’t get it all upfront.
23. Sucks to be a dwarf, constantly riding bitch.
(yes, you can seriously buy this figurine, how gay.)
24. Seeing Theoden: This is gonna be like ‘A Weekend at Bernie’s’ pretty quick. This king is beyond his deathbed.
25. He’s like Gollum with hair. Like a creepier version of Snape.
26. I see someone out in the distance, oh there they are, the director told me to look out off further in the other direction and plus I got all this hair in my face, can’t see very well anyway.
27. I guess you can just waltz right into this castle. No barriers or nice fortress.
28. They could’ve sped through this whole exorcism of the king.
29. Call me Frodo, not Mr. Frodo. I don’t call you Mr. Samuel.
30. ‘We survived because of me.’ It’s his Tyler Durden speaking.
31. A what? An Oliphant? You mean elephant.
32. Dwarf’s horse flips out, they’re all laughing until his axe flys into someone’s back and then no one is having a good time.
33. ‘Where is she? The woman that gave you that.’ I actually bounce at a gay bar.
34. ‘Lord Aragon, where is he?’ ‘Fell.’ Why is she all teary-eyed? She barely knew the guy…
35. Aragon gets on his horse just as the cameraman downs another bottle of Jack.
36. Everyone has to carry their own lanterns to the ships.
37. Faramir- he only gets roles in these kind of movies.
38. Witch of the Woods talking a bunch. She should just quickly narrate the whole movie.
39. WHERE THE FUCK is this tree taking these two hobbits? Seriously, just get there or don’t show them at all until you get to the destination.
40. What is that crazy light behind the king as he’s getting dressed and blabbering?
41. Quit staring at each other and just fight already.
42. ‘Prepare to fire.’ They were already aiming.
43. 3-5 chapters of just fighting. So. Fucking. Bored.
44. Dude what happened. It’s like right when it started getting dark at the two towers, they forgot to take the blue filter off the camera lens.
45. Tree’s yell echoes through the woods. The hobbits should be absolutely deaf.
46. This king is such a little bitch. Finally he goes and DOES something.
47. Wtf Gandalf, are you just gonna smack everyone with your staff?
48. The tree just kept rocks on his head? Where are the two hobbits getting rocks from?
49. ‘I can’t do this Sam.’ ¾ of this movie when it shows Frodo, is ONLY IN SLO MO.
50. Sam giving Frodo another pep talk at the end of the movie, just like the first one.
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring’ Sucked
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
- Opened December 19, 2001 | Runtime:2 hr. 58 min.
- PG-13
- The future of civilization rests in the fate of the One Ring, which has been lost for centuries. Powerful forces are unrelenting in their search for it. But fate has placed it in the hands of a young Hobbit named Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood), who inherits the Ring and steps into legend. A daunting task lies ahead for Frodo when he becomes the Ringbearer – to destroy the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom where it was forged.
- Cast: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Ian Holm, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Bean
- Director: Peter Jackson
- Genres: Sword-and-SorceryFantasy AdventureFantasyEpic
Since you guys go ape shit over this trilogy I finally decided to waste three nights of my life sitting through this. I’ve only seen it once before, but Mark had the pleasure of going through life without seeing it AT ALL. He slept a lot of the time.
1. Black screen… Still a black screen. OH, there it is.
2. Mt. Doom? That’s what you call it? Nothing interesting or original?
3. That’d be hilarious if William Wallace came flying through here.
4. Is he like a transformer? Why didn’t he just show up in the first place and kick everyone’s ass? Why minions? Oh, he’s a predator, blowin’ himself up.
5. Are we watching the CliffNotes of this movie because we’re learning about everything RIGHT NOW.
6. I think there’s an easier way to make a door.
7. ‘I feel thin like butter spread over too much bread.’ Like silly putty over too much newspaper?
8. The ring got smaller? It was huge in the human hand.
9. ‘I though of the ending to my book. And he lived happily ever after til the end of his days.’ Um… that wasn’t really thinking, now was it?
10. Magneto should be able to pick up that ring without touching it.
11. It took Frodo that long to think of going to Bilbo’s house to look for him…
12. Check out my crib, it looks like a bomb shelter.
13. I wonder what kind of straightener Saruman uses.
14. How did Gandalf not see him as a bad guy, look at his fucking castle. That shit SCREAMS bad guy.
15. Can’t fight very well with all that hair in their face.
16.All that spinning upwards, surprised Gandalf didn’t puke all over Saruman on the way up.
17. ‘Get off the road quick!’ Dramatic, but not believable.
18. I want a death horse. I’m surprised it’s still allowing to be ridden with all those nails in its hooves.
19. Ring raithes aren’t too sneaky going to stab beds.
20.So Frodo gets stabbed while invisible to everyone else but can they hear him screaming?
21. Raithes must be doused in gasoline…
22. So they chop down a fuck ton of trees and make orcs out of them? Earth people…
23. If they only had guns. They’d have driveby horsings.
24. That horse had too much Alkasetzer.
25. You know how to make your horse look faster? You wear a long coat.
26. Raithes going downstream to get away from the flash flood, instead of getting out of the water.
27. Fade in fade out got so cheesy right there.
28. He just ‘Avatared’ out of there. Why didn’t Saruman just use his cane and shoot the bird down?
29. ‘Mr. Ander- I mean Frodo, look at the vein on my forehead.’
30. That elf should’ve just pushed the dude into the fire along with the ring. Then none of this would be a big deal.
31. You’re not supposed to touch museum artifacts. Now you’re droppin’ shit!
32. Liv’s got a horrible speech impediment in this movie.
33. Bilbo freak on the ring: migraine like icecream/brain freeze.
34. ‘It’s Saruman!’ ‘He’s trying to bring down the mountain! RICOLA!!!!’ Maybe you shouldn’t yell so loudly or you’ll start an avalanche. Oh, way to go.
35. Foot slips in water, Jesus Christ Frodo. Learn how to fucking walk, didja just come out of rehab?
36. Now that’s a Crakken! Doesn’t take forever to get out of the water and wants to get shit done!
37. There are wayyyy too many people in this extravaganza.
38. I think I woulda used a sword, not a pan. Wtf. He had a sword.
39. This is the second time Frodo has been stabbed and it’s still only the first movie.
40. Took them that long to start running after they heard the noises and saw all the orcs run off.
41. That’s the demon? More like diesel engine.
42. Hold up- Frodo slips in the snow and the ring goes flying, but he runs all over this goddamn mine and nothing happens. He should have dropped the ring a ton in here.
43. It’s like the Cullens in the woods. They’re all dressed the same!
44. Seriously, nobody has shoes in this movie. Dude, even Indians had moccasins.
45. Galadriel putting water in the mirror: ‘Yeah, I just got my bartender’s license.’
46. ‘I give you the Light of Arian (or whatever)’ Buttplug. So it’s a road flare? A light bulb?
47. Kinda a crappy place to put nice statues. Not a lot of people would see them. Put them by a highway or something. I thought they were heiling Hitler, or dancing along to that song ‘STOP- in the name of love, before you break my heart!’
48. If I were Frodo I would have learned to quit putting that goddamned ring on.
49. Sam wasn’t even that deep in the water, him drowning looked about 20ft deep.
50. Legolas has a magical endless quiver. 
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why ‘Repo Men’ Sucked
- Opened March 19, 2010 | Runtime:1 hr. 51 min.
- In the futuristic action-thriller Repo Men, humans have extended and improved our lives through highly sophisticated and expensive mechanical organs created by a company called The Union. The dark side of these medical breakthroughs is that if you don’t pay your bill, The Union sends its highly skilled repo men to take back its property…with no concern for your comfort or survival. Jude Law plays Remy, one of the best organ repo men in the business. When he suffers a cardiac failure on the job, he awakens to find himself fitted with the company’s top-of-the-line heart-replacement…as well as a hefty debt. But a side effect of the procedure is that his heart’s no longer in the job. When he can’t make the payments, The Union sends its toughest enforcer, Remy’s former partner Jake (Academy Award® winner Forest Whitaker), to track him down.
- Cast: Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Alice Braga, Liev Schreiber, Carice van Houten, Chandler Canterbury
- Director: Miguel Sapochnik
- Genres: Sci-Fi ActionScience Fiction
I’m too tired to even begin to explain how “un-wowed” I was by this so I found the best mini explanation by someone else who felt the same way about the film:
Horrible “for normal people” remake of 2008’s Repo! Genetic Opera, without the singing or Paris Hilton. The only part of it i agreed with was not using Paris Hilton. Slightly adapted plot leaves a lot to be desired. 0 of the complicated but ultimately comical backplot of Repo! No singing which i understand is a plus to most people but i like it. Took a different movie destined for cult fandom and gutted it, added explosions, Hollywood stereotypes and took out some of the darker comedy. All terrible decisions, this movie sucked, go watch the shadowcasted Repo! instead.
50 Reasons Why ‘Repo Men’ Sucked
1. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” Dude, seriously. I’m not even here for you. Did I advance towards you? No. Bitch, back off.
2. You think you would definitely NOT be late on this kind of payment. I don’t care who you are.
3. Btw, that cat shit conversation Jude was having in the very beginning of this, sounded retarded. And of course he’ll elaborate at the end like every other movie and it probably still won’t make much sense. Alive and dead at the same time. Dumb, not philosophical at all.
4. He must be very new to this repo job because his tattoo is so fresh looking like it wants to scab and peel.
5. He’s pulling the car out of the school and it looks totally lifted, it lowers as he drives, he kills the chick in the bathroom and drives some more where it looks even lower.
6. Why is it that Jude always has to have some sort of voice over in his movies?
7. The vehicle has remained low now.
8. Forest Whitaker probably shouldn’t be in this since he’s got a crazy eye. You’d think he would have gotten that taken care of…
9. I’ll buy you a new voicebox and bigger lips…
10. Now they’re at a BBQ. When is this movie going to kick in?
11. What, do they hang out with a bunch of gang bangers?
12. The blood squirts every time they slice someone.
13. I like how he puts Jude’s apron on, like he’s gonna give it back after he gets blood everywhere.
14. Did Forest just say “My force is strong, Luke?” Any Star Wars reference at all coming from that guy’s mouth would be retarded.
15. Ddin’t really explain very well how Jude ended up like this…
16. Is that his contract agreement in her thong? What a douche, boss.
17. Not a very good unit if his heart is making him unable to concentrate on his job.
18. *Hugs kid* *Glares at wife* In your face bitch.
19. He already got a ‘past due’ letter? Oh we’ve sped thru time, thanks for letting me know.
20. Kinda like The Geek Squad, Repo Men all drive the same cars.
21. I like how when Forest gets all pissy his left eye closes completely.
22. If Forest is so upset about this, why doesn’t he just do some papaerwork for Jude and say Jude did it?
23. Knock out number 4. Not witty, Jude, not at all.
24. She’s bitching about getting help, why did she stay then when she could’ve just left the hotel?
25. I guess that’s where you take cars to burn them.
26. “Ask me about my lips, they’re all me.” hat makes me want you so bad.
27. What brand is your vag? I heard the 5000 model vibrates.
28. My asshole is the shitter 9000.
29. Jude Law in another movie where he is using a typewriter.
30. What shit hole are they staying in that kids are playing in too?
31. I’m a cybornetic organism with headphone ears.
32. Already calling him ‘babe’.
33. It’s not my leg bleeding all over the airport. I’m just having a heavy period.
34. “How long did you know this guy?” All she does is smile as a response. WTF is that supposed to mean?
35. OF COURSE HE’S the black market guy.
36. Asians always have steady hands. So stereotypical.
37. The second you see him dead you need to leave the area, don’t let her inspect that shit you tard.
38. She needs to be looking around for something to kill Forest with, not stand there and watch.
39. Run at him while yelling, yeah, that really did something.
40. Mark: “Where’s Paris Hilton?”
41. “Welcome to your world Repo Man.” Yeah, black lady, I’ve been in it awhile now. Thanks.
42. Why is it that in movies where the character realizes they are on camera they shoot the camera???? At that point it’s already recorded and even if the security guard doesn’t se you in the screen, he will definitely notice when you shoot at it.
43. He can’t even shoot Jude or Miss Pretty-Much-Robot. Those are some extremely BAD shots.
44. Why doesn’t Jude just pick up the guns from the people he just killed and shoot the rest of them?
45. That’s definitely a whole new meaning to the word ‘fisting’.
46. So they’re like, doing it while cutting their bodies. Hot.
47. Just deep throat this by the way, sorry I didn’t warn you. How romantic.
48. The song in the background as they’re doing this: “Bring it back”
49. So the doors unlocked, but after the blast they unlocked? The glass didn’t even break. What a shitty security system.
50. “Always happy, always content.” He was just bitching about it being hot. I don’t think he’s very content.
I can’t believe it ended like that. Of course, ‘the man’ will always win. FAIL.
50 Reasons Why These Movies Suck 