Monthly Archives: March 2011
50 Reasons Why ‘Skyline’ Sucked
22/Mar/2011
Current Thoughts: Made only for special effects wows.
Skyline
- Opened November 12, 2010 | Runtime:1 hr. 40 min.
- Strange lights descend on the city of Los Angeles, drawing people outside like moths to a flame where an extraterrestrial force threatens to swallow the entire human population off the face of the Earth.
- Cast: Eric Balfour, Scottie Thompson, Brittany Daniel, Crystal Reed, Neil Hopkins, David Zayas, Donald Faison, Robin Gammell
- Director: Greg Strause
- Genres: Alien FilmScience FictionSci-Fi Horror
Kinda figured this wouldn’t be a good movie since it wasn’t in theaters very long…
50 Reasons Why ‘Skyline’ Sucked
1. “How’s it morning? AGAHAGBLUHGURGLEPUKE”
2. So you look at the light and you instantly get varicose veins and cataracts?
3. “That’s why you’re my hero.” You can get bags off of a plane.
4. Hip rock music while riding in the Rolls Royce. This is what makes the movie awesome. Not.
5. Was the film flipped in editing because all of the vehicles are driving backwards if you look closely.
6. Denise is hotter than blondie, and blondie is a bitch.
7. Preggo’s drinking? How can she not know?
8. Your friend just told you about a job offering and you’re being a little bitch. I can tell you’ll probably do this throughout the movie. G-R-E-A-T.
9. Pan shots of the city with “awesome music”. It’s like I’m watching an episode of “The Hills”.
10. “I didn’t want to ruin your trip. Shit. Is that all you have to say?” Now, I am apparently watching a soap opera.
11. That whole beginning was pretty much pointless. I understand we need a back-story, but we could have went about that a different way.
12. How is it taking everyone so long to wake up from the noise and movement (even if they thought it was only an earthquake)? So what if you’re drunk, you will be a little bit more OMG about the situation than these terrible actors.
13. “Jared, what happened? What’d you see?” Jesus, just give me like, 5 seconds to at least recuperate a little bit.
14. Blonde’s overdramatic expressions.
15. “There’s something down there.” WHY did we cast these people to play in our movie? Oh, because they were cheap, not because they had any talent!
16. “Look at me.” …… ok, now what?
17. I would have just walked to the balcony, not made a trek to the roof. I mean, you are pretty much on top of the building anyways.
18. God, this is taking forever just to get to the edge of the building.
19. All the communication is still up, so you think the Army could mobilize.
20. Round 2, should probably hide.
21. How is it only sucking up people, and not like, dogs, street signs, smart cars, etc.?
22. That camera lens can’t get shots like that from that far away…
23. Wow, I wouldn’t be able to trust the integrity of my own door if I could just bust that one down like that.
24. Make another loud SHHHHHHH to the old man, Christ.
25. Let’s just yell at each other some more to attract the aliens.
26. So what, it’s the blind timer, but can’t they just hit the cancel button before it rolls all the way up, it’s not like it’s going that fast.
27. There is no reason for him to be mad at Denise for taking pictures of them together; he’s the one cheating in the first place.
28. At least the majority are in the Mercedes, which has sat nav and is a bit quieter.
29. This is the first token black guy that’s getting shit done and not being killed. Oh wait, nvm.
30. Omg Jared, quit looking at the damn light. You know it’s bad.
31. Giant flappy blue vagina?
32. I hope there’s a point to this slow motion. Ooh! Good shot, Alien!
33. Blondie needs to get rid of that goddamn overshirt and Jared’s girlfriend needs to not scream or yell because she sounds like a man.
34. So it’s too bright to have the TV on but wtf is lighting up their faces?
35. This telescope angle shown on the TV is fucking amazing. It’s like a helicopter is flying around getting these shots for them.
36. What the fuck kind of bomb was that? Nuclear? But wouldn’t they have died as well? Blown out windows and shit? Being that close and all….
37. And Oliver would be totally blind in one eye right now from looking at that in the telescope because if it was nuclear then the blast would have been too bright and he would be in severe pain. Which, he seems fine now.
38. How do you have no power when you just used the TV?
39. “You have to trust me, It’s me, it’s still me.” Uh, I’m good. You can just go. Who knows if one night I’m cooking dinner and you don’t like the taste because I accidentally burned it, then you flip out on me or something? I think you need anger management classes.
40. Ahaha, the dramatic/ but not emotional “Noooooooooo!” when the helicopter crashes. Sweet.
41. What was the alien just doing to her? It was just like, gyrating.
42. I’m like the Hulk every time I get mad, I just get veins.
43. That had to be the typical flip over action with people underneath. That was already done in that Nic Cage movie “Next” or whatever.
44. So if she didn’t look up, would she still get sucked up as well?
45. I’d like to know what the moral of this story is.
46. And this is a pretty unique fuel source for these aliens to get in order to live. I mean, how many other humans are out there for this species to be thriving? Kinda retarded.
47. I like how our brains fit perfectly into their little head sockets.
48. “Jared?” Yes it’s me, if I could make an expression, I would. THIS IS FUCKING STUPID.
49. So they’re getting all these blue brains right: BLUE om nom nom nom. Then here comes along a RED one. Hmmm, probably gonna pass on that one. If you are an alien and this is how you’ve been surviving, you’d think you would only want to eat the blue ones. Maybe do a test on the red to make sure it’s edible or whatever? That alien deserved it.
50. Wouldn’t it be great if these aliens were just taking your brains to Zion or something, you know? All the people freaking out so this is the only way to do it, because think about it. If the alien showed up and was like, “Hey what’s up, I’m here to take you to Zion” then people would freak anyways, so you might as well do it in style. This movie is beyond retarded, no thinking in the plot, really.
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why ‘Hereafter’ Sucked
15/Mar/2011
Current Thoughts:
Hereafter (2010)
- Opened October 15, 2010 (Limited NY-LA-Toronto 10/15; Opens Wide 10/22) | Runtime:2 hr. 6 min.
- An American laborer (Matt Damon), a French journalist (Cécile de France) and a London schoolboy set out on a spiritual journey after death touches their lives in different ways.
- Cast: Matt Damon, Cécile De France, Frankie McLaren, George McLaren, Jay Mohr, Bryce Dallas Howard
- Director: Clint Eastwood
- Genres: Psychological DramaDramaSupernatural Drama
Here’a what a fellow Fandangoer had to say:
DONT EVEN WASTE YOUR TIME!!
worst movie ever!! would have had more fun in a coma! this movie dragged on and on and on and on!! people were walking out in droves. cant believe matt damon even considered making this movie and I am really amazed that this crap came out of clint eastwood…. hell clint eastwood taking a crap would have been a more interesting story..
50 Reasons Why ‘Hereafter’ Sucked
1. This quality of film looks like the damn 80’s.
2. How do you prepare a bill? It takes all of 30 seconds if you stand there and say you want to check out.
3. Everyone, let’s run down the street, we can out-run it, no big dealsies.
4. She didn’t put that bracelet on? She ran with it the whole time in her hand.
5. So that’s what the afterlife looks like? A bunch of zombies in dim light?
6. He has to have low light and dramaticness to perform this?
7. Made no sense for him to sleep like that.
8. Washing machine in the kitchen, that’s when you know you’re poor.
9. Dude, just get to the point about these boys already.
10. These kids are fucking sneaky. Too smart for their age and upbringing.
11. I’m surprised these punks haven’t nonchalantly walked off.
12. Jason, c’mon, seriously. I’m not kidding…. I’m also not that emotional because it sounds like I’m trying too hard. *whine whine*
13. Jesus, that Mercedes driver and his quick pull away! That’s the type of driving that gets people hit at airports.
14. Oh and, that Mercedes is actually from like, 2009, if you look at the LED taillights, that’s new, definitely not from 2005.
15. Don’t fold underneath him- that’s when you say “Fuck you, I have seen the visions!” In every movie, when a character is about to tell someone something weird/important, they always blow it off and it PISSES ME OFF.
16. This movie is still very slow, I wish this shit would just tie together already.
17. Maybe he would sleep better if he had actually used the blankets or taken off his shoes…
18. Matt Damon: “I ALWAYS WALK VERY AGGRESSIVELY.”
19. Black chick- it sounds like Matt’s a hooker, he’s gonna get kicked out.
20. Dude, Billy’s forehead is worse than Nic Cage’s. He did not age well.
21. “Promise I won’t let you down.” But you are already, especially right now.
22. Weird awkward French music playing while they are talking about death.
23. Talking about the hereafter: “Someone would have discovered it by now and there would be proof.” What?? It’s not like another planet.
24. Kind of douche of us Americans to always play french music when a French person pops up on the screen.
25. You have 10 weeks of class together and you drop this bomb on Matt Damon the SECOND day. This is going to be a long course.
26. Dude, she sounds like she’s going to rape him, she’s so straightforward.
27. Back door of the car wasn’t fully closed. He closed the door and the back one popped slightly.
28. Omg bitch, he doesn’t want to tell you about his gift, Christ back off, this is obnoxious.
29. Matt “All I kept hearing-“ –cut off by chick “was what?”- I’m getting there, let me tell my fucking story.
30. I told you it would get weird; it’s not my first rodeo. Let’s have dinner now.
31. I bet the neighbors think it’s very odd that everyone always leaves his apartment crying. I hope this plot and dialogue gets better.
32. Hold up- he’s not allowed to wear his hat but this Saudi girl can wear her stuff? That pisses me off.
33. I thought this movie was supposed to be set in 2005? Clearly then, the receptionist has some hardcore connections for her to be rockin’ a Windows 7 wallpaper, not a XP.
34. Thank God this tea was here, I’m sure it was meant for someone else but it’s ours now. SLURP. SLURP. I hate watching actors drink stuff. It’s weird.
35. The views and video description never changed when he started watching the second video.
36. This kid is Oscar Mike, on the move!
37. Ahaha! I just saw a boom mic!
38. How is Hereafter political??
39. What the hell was blondie in the background’s problem? No one ever looks when someone walks away from a table. People usually just assume you’re going to the bathroom.
40. Sets the cordless phone down to grab paper that is less than 2 feet away. Huh?
41. High speed tour guide! She doesn’t even give time for someone to answer her questions.
42. This tour guide is also wrong! The correct title is “Mystery of EDWIN Drood”.
43. The time lapse of this movie is almost a year? Wow.
44. The old guy that read that book out loud said good luck to Matt Damon. Good luck to what??
45. Haha, Matt Damon’s slight comb over. Because it’s that necessary.
46. Him and his gloves too. This movie drops off and picks up at Bourne Identity.
47. Wow, corny Matt Damon with music and his “vision” of the future.
48. So he didn’t get “bursted” by her?
49. OH! NO WONDER this movie was so slow and boring and really had no point! Clint Eastwood directed it. This now makes so much more sense.
50. The scenes in the trailer pretty much make it look like this is a paranormal film when it’s merely a “people connect through adversity” story with a sixth-sense lite subplot running throughout. Not too happy about that at all.
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why ‘The Next Three Days’ Sucked
9/Mar/2011
Current Thoughts: The amount of head shaking that Mark did every time he watched Crowe shove his gun in his pants like that was priceless.
The Next Three Days
- Opened November 19, 2010 | Runtime:2 hr. 2 min.
- Life for John and Lara Brennan (Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks) is miserable after she is convicted of a murder she says she did not commit. Three years later while struggling with the demands of work and raising his son alone, John is still trying to establish her innocence. When her final appeal is rejected, Lara becomes suicidal, forcing John to exercise the only option he has left: Break her out of prison.
- Cast: Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Neeson, Brian Dennehy, Olivia Wilde
- Director: Paul Haggis
- Genres: Crime DramaCrime ThrillerThriller
Sorry I’m about to just spurt out a random overview of what I think here, but I’m super busy today and my mind is kind of scattered. I do have to say it was a lot more entertaining than ‘Conviction’ because Russell Crowe decides not to do it the right way… BUT there were a lot of things that made me not care too much for it. Take for example, the little boy and how uneventful his emotions were. Might as well not even have the damn kid in the film. And the police force, wtf. They put together a case like no other, so fucking quickly. And seriously, I thought that little girl’s mother would have a bigger role because that’s kind of the feeling it made you believe. One other thing that put me off a bit was the fact that Liam Neeson was in this for only about two minutes. Yeah sure, that guy kind of irritates me with his voice, but with that short of a role, don’t bother with a big named actor. This movie could have been shortened down to show only the last 30 minutes, really.
50 Reasons Why ‘The Next Three Days’ Sucked
1. Did he run over a retard? Why are we even watching this scene?
2. What a bitch. Of course she doesn’t fight with her boss; she just flashes her tits to him.
3. Elizabeth’s hair looks like a wig.
4. First they’re talking shit in front of the kid, then sarcasm, now an arrest. Nice parenting.
5. What, she go out like a werewolf last night, doesn’t remember the next day?
6. I sling my kid over my shoulder like a dead person too.
7. They don’t keep inmates for a long ass time in county jails, dude.
8. Does she dye her hair in jail? She’s got dark ass roots and a perfect dye line that’s only about 3 weeks length of growth.
9. They can embrace and makeout when they meet but once sitting down she can’t touch his face.
10. How’d she get blood on the back of her coat that high up? Even seeing the end of this movie- that still doesn’t make any sense.
11. Go Prius, Go! A silent but eco-friendly getaway.
12. “You can’t spend these.” But they are currency.
13. So the doctor lets him see his wife even though the po-po’s say no. So what, doctors supersede the laws now?
14. Are we montaging? Sweet, we are! Montage of researching.
15. For the amount of time it took Papillon to gain his freedom and write a book/help make a movie, I highly doubt Liam Neeson would be in the clear to be able to do such things.
16. Are you kidding me? Taking that whole wad of cash? Go Liam Neeson! That would suck if Russell Crowe was only carrying a few ones…
17. How long is this taking? What’s the elapsed time of him getting ready to bust her out?
18. At least he can sell all those drugs off to the kids he teaches at his school.
19. “Does your face hurt?” Yours is going to here if you don’t shush it.
20. I wouldn’t be putting that bat down, even if he is deaf.
21. Can you keep it down a bit, deaf guy? My neighbors are going to hear this shit.
22. Two very loud bikes, and they’re bitching about Crowe being the obvious one.
23. That was a long awkward pause for the cop to open the door for him.
24. That’s also not something you want all over your wall.
25. “She’s already got it all figured out.” Typical woman.
26. Kari’s mom, man. If you don’t know the story, don’t assume.
27. Why’s his face look like it’s getting worse?
28. OMG that tennis ball trick does not actually work, saw that shit on Mythbusters once.
29. Oh thank god, Crowe must’ve planted that girl there to say hi.
30. Strapped for cash? Sell the Prius dude, get a beater.
31. Btw, about his gun… I like how you go into a gun store and buy an illegal gun, and they wrap it nicely in a cloth for you.
32. I wasted all my money on you- I bought this Glock, I drove around in my Prius buying drugs- and you tell me you did it. Even if she didn’t, I’d be done with her for being such a sap.
33. You wasted a lot of time getting him out of the fire and now you have blood all over your seats, and fingerprints all over the bullet casings and body.
34. I like this random lighting on only Crowe’s face while he’s in the Prius. Because that makes a lot of sense.
35. “John, are you alright?” No, I just got into a gang war tonight. Nice rod iron railing by the way.
36. Kind of a weird song to randomly put in the movie.
37. Wow, this movie is actually starting. Jesus, take forever.
38. I understand he’s trying to get away, but he needs to drive a lot more inconspicuously.
39. Running lights on. Running lights off. Pick one.
40. Let’s attract police by whipping the car around with her hanging out of the vehicle.
41. There’s no anti lock brakes on that thing? It was spinning out of control, ruining tires, etc. but it looks new enough to at least have ABS.
42. He could have just hit the power locks but had to be dramatic about it.
43. Oh my god this is so painful- the amount of time they are wasting.
44. Does this kid really still need to sit in a car seat???
45. Why exactly are they going through a passport checker thingy when they’re leaving Canada? I didn’t think they had that there.
46. Her hair looks so damn good for getting out of jail and having it in a pony tail for half the day. No kink, it’s fucking perfect.
47. “It’s starting to rain.” THANKS DETECTIVE.
48. So the detective detected the murder finally? How’d he solve the crime? Touching the ground?
49. This black chick detective is so annoying, bitching about everything. Why is she even in this movie?
50. Well it’s not like you can put those pictures on Facebook or anything.
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why ‘One Missed Call’ Sucked
30/Jan/2011
Current Thoughts: I’m tired of seeing movies with flip phones. Gratuitous flipping.
It takes brains to make a good horror film, and this looks like it was made with the brain of a goldfish. Poor story-telling, laughable special effects, oh, and characters that you only remember as “her”, “her friend”, “her latin friend”, and “her guy friend”. They sleepwalk through their dialogue and the main character forgets at one point to even react to the death of her latin friend. The ending is the best part though, it killed any possibility of reality. It didn’t actually end.
Reasons Why “One Missed Call” Sucked
1. Got my meds, coffee, my cat- outside my Asian Dojo, even though I’m black.
2. There is a lot of, what’s that toilet bowl cleaner called- in that pond.
3. Who inspects a pond like that, like your face that close to the water. “Let my boobs inspect the water.”
4. What kind of party is this? “Hey guys, I’m just gonna make pasta for everyone!”
5. Great acoustics in this room- that ringtone sounds amazing.
6. So this is all happening in June? The leaves are already dying? Christ, their summer’s all out of whack.
7. Wow, really? They turn off the outside lights as well? What’s the point of even having lights then?
8. Woman with three mouths on her face. Because that is scary and it makes the least bit of sense.
9. Just spit it out woman, just tell her you’re seeing shit.
10. That train is going pretty damn fast through town.
11. Beth is already seeing shit and she hasn’t even gotten a phone call yet.
12. Why is Beth in the general populous right now? Shouldn’t the cops be questioning her?
13. Dude, Beth, you’re like a homing pigeon, finding him at the coffee shop right away.
14. Well, HELLO. I guess I’m going to be a lesbian tonight. Oh, she’s crying, nvm.
15. I’d be more worried that there’s no battery in my phone.
16. Crazy hand gestures, you gotta believe me.
17. That did a fucking AWESOME job stomping on that phone. I’ve hit mine with a hammer multiple times on concrete and it barely did shit. No, seriously, I’m impressed.
18. Everything else in your house is nice, why can’t you just re-finish that damn door already.
19. I just love those friendly helpful neighbors that are always right there when you need answers.
20. A rat in the sink, it’s only been two weeks.
21. Where do you even get a doll like that?
22. He’s not a very good cop, letting her break and letting her look at morgue pictures.
23. Just in case she ever had to go to court? Court for what? Does she like to incriminate herself a lot?
24. Jesus, just park on the grass, it’s ok.
25. She wouldn’t be so scared if she just closed her eyes.
26. Hold up- her phone said she was going to die at 7:32, NOT 8:32.
27. Oh wow, poor fish. You missed the trash can.
28. “I’m going to stay right here.” *knock knock* I thought you were going to stay downstairs.
29. “What happened here?” I got into a fight with an octopus.
30. What a horrible house- at least her room was nice.
31. *Right next to the girl* “She hasn’t spoken since the fire.” THANKS. You told me that already, down stairs. Now the little girl is going to keep thinking it’s ok not to talk.
32. She types ‘Hospital fire’ in her search. Not ‘St. Luke’s’ or something a bit more advanced to get your search narrowed down?
33. “Moving through the phone, attacking people.” Yeah, cabbie sees coocoo.
34. She’s been wearing the same pants since the beginning of the movie.
35. What’d she expect to see in this hospital? Wtf, why didn’t she be like, “Hey, baby, what’s up? Where’d you get the phone?”
36. Wow, this room looks pretty unburnt.
37. Goddamn, I thought druglords had a lot of cellphones. They are everywhere.
38. Just imagine if this was my phone. I get irritated when I get a single text. I’d be super pissed if all I heard all day was “DROID DROID DROID DROID”
39. I don’t believe all these are Boost Mobile. At least it wasn’t an iPhone. The killer would be so pissed that there wasn’t ever any service.
40. Two weeks since it burnt down. That cellphone battery is AWESOME.
41. Ok, ok, so even if this could happen- her tear ducts wouldn’t be able to work.
42. All these people here just to pick up one corpse?
43. That’s not the first time we’ve ever put a cellphone into the evidence locker and it has gone off. Third time today, let me just look weirdly over at it like I’ve never heard a cellphone before.
44. How is she not already asleep because of this shitty music, Jesus.
45. You see something move so you advance?! How about 911 or a gun???
46. Quit being a freak about the peephole, just ask “who’s there?”
47. So he was stabbed in the left eye but now he’s chillin’ dead on the ground and his left eye looks just fine…
48. Hi, I’m unburnt. I was stuck in there , you saved me, I got a shower, and now Ima save you.
49. And…… this makes no sense. Why’s it keep going?
50. This had a lot of dwell time. Can’t really make fun of a movie when there isn’t shit going on…
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why ‘Let Me In’ Sucked
1/Feb/11
Current Thoughts: No shocker that the US had to up the original with more action.
- Opened October 1, 2010
- 1 hr 55 min
- R | Strong bloody horror violence, language and a brief sexual situation
- Parents: Common Sense Media says Iffy for 16+. More on child suitability
- Chloe Moretz (Hit Girl from Kick-Ass) stars as Abby, a secretive 12-year old girl, who moves next door to Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Road). Owen is a social outcast who is viciously bullied at school and in his loneliness, forms a profound bond with his new neighbor. Owen can’t help noticing that Abby is like no one he has ever met before. As a string of grisly murders occupy the town, Owen has to confront the reality that this seemingly innocent girl is really a savage vampire. Full synopsis
- Cast: Chloë Grace Moretz, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Richard Jenkins, Elias Koteas, Cara Buono, Sasha Barrese
- Director: Matt Reeves
- Genres: Drama
50 Reasons Why ‘Let Me In’ Sucked
1. Maybe they shouldn’t be traveling that close together if the roads are that bad…
2. How were his clothes not burned. Chemists out there will prove me wrong. I have to think forever before I comment about any movie now or I will get tards on the internet, bitching.
3. Good thing there were guards outside this guy’s room. Not.
4. Through the glass, Reagan is now in color.
5. Definitely not real snow or it’s FUCKING FREEZING outside.
6. He’s a horrible spy. Might I make a few suggestions? Move your telescope towards the back of the room, close your blinds a bit, THEN spy.
7. Everyone’s thrashing about in the pool.
8. Well, now that blade’s broken AND dull.
9. Put some shoes on. So what if you don’t need to, but at least you’ll blend in with society a bit more. Make you less suspicious.
10. Dude, if you have just nodded or waved back, everything wouldn’t be awkward.
11. Wouldn’t you hear that bag over his head and see that shit out of the corner of your eye in the rear-view mirror?
12. I didn’t know she turned into a she-devil with a man’s voice.
13. “I really want to be left alone.” Then why’d you show up? I was here first.
14. All this snow, but it’s not sticking to the Rubick’s cube and you can’t see his breath.
15. “I just twisted it.” Well, no shit. Nice dialogue.
16. “8 months and 9 days.” Weird. Usually you start counting down like, a month before.
17. I solved the cube already, why would I want to keep it?
18. Mom wears the same shit.
19. “Hit them back hard.” “But what if they hit back?” I know they’re supposed to be 12 and all, but I’ve had better conversations when I was 10 than this “work of art”.
20. Ms. Pac-Man does NOT make those noises.
21. Now or Later wrappers look like the early 90’s ones. Isn’t this set in the early 80’s?
22. The dramatic music with the man, no matter what, even if it’s just him kickin’ it in the kitchen.
23. “Burnin’ for You” Blue Oyster Cult, man, that shit is soooo 2 years old.
24. Why didn’t he just drive forward. He could have done that and he wouldn’t have fucked himself like this.
25. So how’d she know it was her guy on the radio? Just for the fact that this is a small town that doesn’t ever have any crime?
26. Wouldn’t that hurt, touching her forehead with his forehead? Yeah, fuck that.
27. How do you NOT see her, like right next to you on that ledge?
28. Why’d she have to take off all of her clothes? I still don’t understand.
29. Hey, at least this time I can understand the note. It’s in English, not Swedish.
30. There’s like, multiple teachers around and the only one that saw the bully ditches him to go see what everyone else is freaking out about.
31. It’s Han Solo! They’ve perfected Carbonite!
32. Holy Jesus, that’s deep. You don’t have to cut your finger that deep to make a damn pact.
33. That needs more than a bandaid. You need some QuikClot.
34. “Dad, is there such thing as evil?” “Yeah, your mother.”
35. Blood sucking noises. Christ.
36. That nurse blew UP in flames. Was she marinated in gasoline?
37. Can’t Abby just explain she can’t come in “or else”?
38. Dude, all the blood on her face is already dry, like the second after he hugged her.
39. You know if that was on TV nowadays, people would get so pissed.
40. The amount of looking through peepholes and telescopes in this movie…. Ugh.
41. That guy is short. He can look through the peephole and only see the top of the cop’s head.
42. There was no just cause to bust in that door. Oh, and he wouldn’t be able to fire off that gun right now because the hammer’s not cocked.
43. Stringy music.. slow reaching… for… doorknob.. oh jesus… almost open. SUSPENSE.
44. This is the hottest kiss. Do I have something on my lip? Ugh iron.
45. Why didn’t she just leave the cop in her apartment?
46. I would’ve just swam to the middle of the pool. “Come fucking get me.”
47. Obviously the trunk is mine.
48. Don’t knock too fucking loud, dude, people are gonna wonder.
49. This is a long ass winter in New Mexico. Could’ve at least done it in Wisconsin or Montana. Would’ve made a bit more sense.
50. This kid is so whipped, he didn’t think about the fact that she totally used the old man too?
FAIL.
50 Reasons Why These Movies Suck 